THE SPEEDY DADDY RULES OF THE ROAD: Do not drive after drinking, or when drunk. Do not drive under the influence of drugs. Do not text or post to Facebook while driving. Do not drive when you’d rather be taking a nap. Do not drive fast in residential areas, or on roads that you don’t know well, or in the rain, or in the snow, or in the fog, or in the dark, or on bald tires. And for damn sure, do not do ANY of these things when your children are in the car.